Writing Challenge - Day 18

I play with fire.  I burn.  I heal.  I come back stronger.  Tempered by flame.

Doing this thing differently, avoiding avoidance, I lean in to absence, let go of reciprocity and give love...just give it.  No really, Just. Give. It.

Facing action incongruent with words, I remain.  Non-reactive.  Undeterred.

There is no way to 'give more than you have to give' when there's always enough and the giving flows freely.

Relishing in the sound and halfheartedly trying to pay attention to the conversation, I steal glances toward the stage.  "What was that?" and "Say again..." signaling each time I catch myself drifting away into the music.  Too worried about getting the steps right during the dance to focus on much else, my brain's not functioning as expected.  I giggle in the realization and let the moment be.

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Reflecting on the Past (8 Feb 2002)

Through the lens of today I see that I wrote of ...
Ignoring things by way of avoidance...avoidance of negativity, avoidance of conflict.
A calm facade masking (causing?) loneliness.
Impossible situations.
Introversion and people-pleasing.
Shoulds.
Laughter.
Relating, being seen.
Desire for spirited, respectful debate -- the kind that supports healthy relating.
Giving up on me -- conceding, to my detriment.
Autonomy slipping away like water through a sieve.
Guilt.  So much guilt.
Stifled expression.
Strong desire for nonviolent communication...without knowing that there is such a thing.
A core of protection and love.
Lacking familiarity with the sensation and emotion involved in the fulfillment of a fundamental need.
The uncertainty and profound unawareness of youth.