This season I've seen more human flakes than snowflakes. They've fallen under the curious powers of "can't drive in freezing rain", "sick kid", "busted washer at home", "work thing" and sometimes absolutely no words at all. And for as much as I dislike flakiness, today I was guilty of it.
I could try to pass it off as karmic flakiness, but that doesn't seem fair. After saying just yesterday that I was excited about a happy hour tonight -- and I was genuinely excited then -- I let myself get so super deep into job search stuff that less than an hour before the event I still hadn't stopped to eat anything since breakfast and I still was in the middle of making applications. Rather than manage my time and work to be sure I went out and enjoyed the event, I got mired in it to the detriment of self-care and healthy socialization.
The way that it all unfolded is no surprise to me, really. With a plan of a midday hike broken by "sick kid", I resolved to turn the busted plan into greater opportunity for job search productivity. I just took it too far; dug in too deep.
Perhaps the ugliest part is that I don't fully regret cancelling my happy hour plans. The decision has caused a bit of a flare up in my chronic FOMO, as I'm sure it would have been a good time -- and one that won't come around again for another month or more. But when I cancelled it felt like a relief to not worry about rushing to go out, spending money I ought not spend, and not finishing what I'm sure I would have told myself that I ought to have finished.
My own hypocrisy humbles my otherwise vitriolic view of flakiness.
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